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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Advice Please

I've decided I do not like school holidays.
I do not like them, not one little bit.
Well, maybe a little bit. Not having to get everyone ready to madly rush out the door at 8:30am is nice.
But I am nearly driven to total insanity.
I am worn out.
I feel old, I feel haggard, I feel beaten.
I also feel like the biggest sook on Earth because I only have two children, just two!
And I am struggling.
They scream, they fight, they bicker.
My boy torments his sister to the point of screaming (I'm talking screaming that makes your brain want to curl up and die) at least ten times every day.
My husband keeps asking me if everyone else's kids do this.
How should I know??
I'm assuming they do, or am I hoping they do?
I want to think my family is normal.
But every day normal seems to be slipping farther and farther away.
My boy can be very normal, I think.
He seems so to me, most of the time.
But there are occasions where he is more sensitive than normal,
more persistent than normal,
more agressive than normal,
more dominant than normal,
more demanding than normal,
more single-minded than normal,
more work than normal.

Or is he?

We still haven't been down the 'testing' path.
So I really don't know.
How will knowing help anyway?

I'm too tired to know.

13 comments:

  1. I don't know anything about normal. So I won't comment. But hugs to you. One day it will end and they will go back to school.

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  2. Gorgeous Thea, I feel for you. School holidays can be hard for all parents. The benefit of having more than 2 kids is when 2 of them are driving you crazy with their bickering, there is at least 1 that is NOT! LOL

    As for the 'knowing', it is always good to know for sure. Then you can become informed about what you are dealing with. School holidays can be challenging because there isn't the usual routine and structure which many kids with ASD come to rely on. Maybe you could set up a 'timetable' with the kids that schedules things - I know that sounds miserable, school holidays are meant to be about freedom, but knowing exactly what was going to happen and when always helped my boy ;)

    Hang in there - siblings are meant to drive each other nuts (and by proxy, us!) and there are only 3 weeks to go! :D

    Cuddles and sunshine always, lovely one.

    xxxx

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  3. Hey, I think he is normal.
    Kids are hard work - as parents we can check out and say its all too hard... or we can continue to encourage, mold, grow, inspire and love our children.
    Maybe he needs extra-curricular activites to keep his increadibly brilliant mind active.
    Huge hugs xoxoxo

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  4. I don't know normal either, and I only have girls, they are young and I only have sisters so I don't know about the mix of genders and whether that is contributing. Just wanted to say, I'm sorry it's tough right now.

    Can you split them up a little and send one off with their dad for an acitivity while you do something with the other? Are there any holiday programs near you (like a kid boot camp!?)

    Hoping the next 3 weeks goes quickly for you all xox

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  5. hey thea
    all i can say is that i always thought everyone else's family was normal and mine wasn't (constant fighting with siblings) but eventually found out that really, they were all like that. school holidays are way too long...

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  6. Sounds pretty normal to me Thea. I have three but only one at school. I lam LOVING not getting up and ready in the mornings and no Ballet or Kinder either :O)

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  7. So completely normal!!! My son does the same thing to his sister maybe there is some rule in brother handbooks about it. We had winter break, Even for only a week and the bickering was enough for me to cheer when we had to go back to school! And I only have 2 also! Erin

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  8. The sibling fights? Totally normal. My two have started getting physical... drives me nuts!

    As for the testing. I am a big believer in having it done. Then you know. If there is anything picked up then it can be dealt with by professionals. They can help with school and home. Let's be honest and say we're all thinking ASD. If your lovely child is found to be on the spectrum, there are resources to help you all work together.

    What lalibelulle said above about structure and routine is true. It's true for many kids who are not on the spectrum too.

    Holidays can be hard. Hang in there lovely Thea xxx

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  9. Haven't read comments - so apologies if I double up-
    My two are just like that but girl is driving boy insane.
    It is horrible emotional war zone 80 % of the time and exhausting.
    so- many many hugs and many good vibes your way and at least it is less than a month now (just)
    Hugs many
    xxx

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  10. I don't know about normal here either. Plus I grew up as an only child..so no help from me.

    But I do find that the little niggling things that my two do to each other seem magnified at school holiday time. Or maybe it's just the seemingly unrelenting Mum, he did / she said, etc etc. My two are B-12 and G-7.

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  11. Sounds pretty normal to me, Thea. My kids have quiet days, but the have a lot of screaming and noisy days too! Boys can be a bit noisy, that's all. And if they're bored, they'll play up more. Take him to the local park and let him exhaust himself, and he'll be better. Promise. Exercise makes ALL the difference!

    :) xxx

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  12. Take him to the park! That's not nearly enough exercise. Boys need a daily program that would exhaust even the most highly trained Athlete/Combat Soldier. When you think smugly to yourself 'Oh they'll be tired now and sleep like babies', think again. They will suprise you. Where does it come from?
    How many days are there to go? Are we nearly there yet?

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  13. I think maybe a sit down question and answer session might be a good idea. Rules are you ask the question and only one child at a time answers. Good questions?
    Why are you fighting?
    Do you feel happy when you are screaming at each other.
    What can you do instead?
    Do you have a favourite toy or game that you don't want the other to touch?
    Do you have a toy or game that you like to play together?
    Would you like time apart to just play or read by yourself each day?
    Do you like to play together?
    What do you like to do together?
    Would you like one or two games where mum joins in?
    Would you like to help mum sometimes when she's really busy, so that when she's finished that particular chore you can all have a game/storytime/backyard cookies picnic?
    Trust me, they're old enough.

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