Friday, June 4, 2010


This time last week I was all excited.
I was getting some 'me' time.
I was driving to the Sunshine Coast all by myself.
I was having lunch with my sister and meeting some online friends for the first time.
I was nervous, but also very excited.

Shame it turned out to be one of the most stupid things I've ever done.

I haven't been able to blog about it until now.
I've been up and down and everything in between all week.
I've been happy & sad, angry & confused, smiling & crying within the space of minutes.
I've tried to shake my head and get over it but it's not that easy.

I was duped.

Big time.

By an online friend I met on Twitter sometime at the end of last year.
This friend had stage IV melanoma.
This friend was in a coma for weeks.
This friend asked all of her friends to do a painting for her to celebrate the birthday her doctors told her she wouldn't see.
This friend turn out to be a fraud.
From what I know about the searches other online friends have done, she lied about EVERYTHING!

I prayed for her.
I painted for her.
I agreed to meet her.
I feel like an idiot.

My husband is a police officer and is always so sceptical.
I'm not. I am the complete opposite.
I always trust what people tell me, until I find a reason not to.
I've never been duped before, I guess that's why it's been so easy to trust.

Now, who do I trust?

I feel a bit better knowing it wasn't just me.
She fooled a whole big group of us.
Sass has blogged about it all here and here.
Bern blogged about it here.
And Taryn blogged about it here.
Please read them all so you get the whole picture of how elaborate her lies were.
She must have spent all day, every day, piecing it all together.

Why? Why would someone go to such lengths??
She did get some money but not enough to make it all worthwhile.
However she was possibly buttering us all up for the biggie....the $30 000 her brain surgery with Australia's leading surgeon was going to cost.

Who knows?
Who will ever know?
She has responded to no one.
We've all called or emailed or sent messages.
Not one reply.

She has my address which has me totally freaking out.
She offered to babysit my kids which makes me feel ill.

I don't know what will happen from here.
I don't know how far reaching the effects of this will have on me.
I do know it's left me very sad and feeling very stupid.

What's the lesson?
Be very, very careful.


  1. Ah Thea, we all got done like a dinner.

    Best thing we can do? Laugh. She's got no one, we've all got each other x

    Word Verification: buste (I shit you not)

  2. Well written summarised version yet.

    I agree with Bern and think it's time we had a good laugh about this whole week.

  3. Great post as always honey. Yes it is definitely time to laugh isn't it!?


  4. I was glad I got to have lunch with you.
    J is a very sick woman.
    I'm glad we are healthy and caring enough to embrace someone who needed a friend.
    Ah ya gotta laugh!
    Big hugs - spreading the love to those who are deserving. xx

  5. Sorry to hear Thea, I hope lunch with your sister was great and that knowing you weren't the only one taken in by this person helps.


  6. Oh Thea, that is just so horrible :( I don't understand what benefit these trolls get out of suckering people in because of their nice giving natures.

    It's just wrong.


  7. It all just sucks. I don't 100% know what is going on, but... wow. Some people are so twisted.

  8. I can't believe someone would do that! It just sucks!

  9. Thea, as you know, I am just so sorry that this happened. xx

  10. Ohhh lovely, there are good things that we have come from this!

    You met Meeeee!!

    And, we have a very strong circle that have each others back. That is awesome!!

    Sending much love!

  11. I'm so sorry - that really really sucks.

    I've been duped by an online "friend" too and yes I trust people too easily as well but we live and learn. In time the hurt from the betrayal will lessen.

    Take care.


  12. Oh god - Thea, you do not deserve this. You are kind, considerate and loving. Please don't feel stupid, anyone who was 'taken in' it is all too easy to do I think, you trust and that is a gift you give to us, you care and that is an even bigger one. For someone to treat you and others like this is just wrong, very very wrong - I don't have the words but am crying because people I know as lovely bloggers and commentors are being hurt for NO real reason I can see. Just *hugs* all I can send. And know that I too believe in blogging truth.

  13. Oh Thea ... I had read Bern's post and commented, along the lines that I am always lecturing the kids that people online may not be who they say they are, yet often fail to take the same care myself. I don't know, I guess online you get to 'know' people fairly quickly, and to trust they are who they are appear to be. It sounds like this woman is a professional con-artist, so don't feel bad. And it sounds like you do have some wonderful friends who are as open and lovely as you. x

  14. I know it's been hard to think about let alone blog about it. Glad you did though as it's good to see people open up and vent about what she did.

    It's a trust issue. You gave your friendship and in return she was suppose to give hers but she lied.

    I prayed for her too and feel like an idiot for doing so but oh well. This situation has shown there are nice people and there are liars out there aswell.

    Big hug

  15. Geography is the reason I was not as involved but I believed just as much as you did Thea. And you know what? I'm not sorry I did. I don't want to lose trust in the basic good of people. And I feel very sorry for J. I really do. What an elaborate web to weave.

    And word verification for this... gymen. Seriously what's going on with that?!

    Have a lovely Friday evening and weekend and squeeze as much fun out of life as you can! xoxo

  16. Scary ... but thank you for the reminder to be very, very careful (putting on Elmer Fudd's voice ...)

    Word verification: ughit!!!!

  17. God what a horrible thing to happen. But please, don't let this upset you or get under your skin. Please don't change the beautiful person you are because someone else is evil. Hugs Thea xxx

  18. Yet you don't name and shame?

    If I don't get one of them new iPhone thingies, I'm just gonna die. Help a digger out?

  19. That's so crazy and creepy!

  20. Oh Thea. I have been so out of the loop this week with my MIL in town, that I haven't been catching up with blogs. Finally, tonight, I sit down to catch up with your news and here it is.

    I've read the other posts too - and I see J's blogs have gone or have passwords now.

    I can't believe all of this.

    In any case though - I agree with Bern. She has no one. We all have each other.


  21. I read about this on Bern's site (and now on Madmother's). I have no idea why someone would do this. I can't begin to imagine what drives some people. Thank god they are a minority. Don't beat yourself up for being compassionate. You're only human.

  22. I hope it doesn't put you off meeting other online friends. I met one of my best friends online about 6 years ago, she's in Melbourne, I'm in Newcastle. We've traveled to Bali, Thailand, Malaysia and Vietnam together as well as visited each others homes. It's not always bad x


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