Monday, November 7, 2011

I Do Not Heart My Body

I've been reading a few 'I Heart My Body' posts in the blogosphere lately.
I do understand that this idea is supposed to be a positive thing.
But for me, I just feel worse every time I see or read one.

It is not my intention for one second to offend anyone who has written one of these posts.
I completely admire every one of them.

There is just no way that I would write one myself.
And that is because I do not heart my body.
I'm not happy with it.
I'm not proud of it.
I don't like it.
I don't.
And I'm not going to pretend that I do.

Yeah, it's an issue for me.
But we all have issues, don't we?
I've had it for most of my life.
Even when I was much thinner and fitter than I am now.

There have been brief reprieves from my body image issue.
Parents, friends, boyfriends, husbands have all played a part in it.
But I accept total responsibility for how I feel and how I look.

My lack of love for my body is not helped by the fact that I've put on 10kg since my children were born.
Nor by the fact that everywhere I turn the media is telling me I should look like Miranda Kerr or Kate Middleton, to name but two.

I hate that there are so many things I wish I could wear, but I simply cannot because I feel way too fat in them.
I hate that I won't get in the pool any more to swim with my kids because I feel hideous in togs.

I do believe that the 'I Heart My Body' link is trying to make a change in the way women feel.
And it does have a positive effect on a lot of women, and that is wonderful.
But sadly I don't feel at all positive about my body.
I don't think it's good to hate my body.
But I'm not going to try to love it, either.

I just wish there was less emphasis on women's bodies.
Good or bad.

I wish everyone cared less.

I wonder if women who lived in more modest times had body image issues?
I wonder if women who live in cultures which require them to cover up have body image issues?

All I know is I have these issues, and many, many women I know have them also.

And I realize that all I need to do is eat less and probably drink less and move more.
It's not rocket science.
But for now I feel fat and uncomfortable and you won't be seeing me in my underwear any time soon.
No, make that...ever.

This is NOT me.


  1. I hear you. There is no way I would put pictures of my body anywhere. I agree, for some women it is encouraging to share, but for me, I'd rather not.

    Good on you for sharing how you feel.

  2. I feel exactly the same way about it all, Thea. I don't want to have to heart my body, I want to be able to not really think about it. I'm tired of bodies being a public festival rather than a personal celebration. x

  3. I agree with everything you've written. I constantly think about the last of the baby weight I haven't lost, but then again I haven't really tried. My excuse is I'll have another baby soon so what's the point. You're exactly right, why do we have to care so much one way or another. Someone saw a wedding photo of me the other day and commented how much thinner I looked then and asked how much weight I had to lose to get back to 'pre baby weight'. I was gobsmacked and replied well I don't know but this is how my body is for now. Thanks for sharing how you feel. That's what our blogs are for, for us to write whatever our heart desires. xxx P.s sorry for the rambling!

  4. Recently I've started to think about it almost every day to the point that it's damaging my lifestyle. I know that I am treated differently based on my appearance and it really bothers me. Yes, it would be nice if it was a non issue!
    P.S. I really dislike it when <3 is written as 'heart' instead of 'love' ... why did that become so popular? Hmmmm.... I think that I just showed my age, lol!

  5. Couldn't agree more Thea. I have never loved my body. When I was really young it was fashionable to be curvy - but I was stick thin and shapeless. Now it is fashionable to be stick thin and shapeless and I am curvy. If how I look determines my success of failure as a person, then I fail miserably. As you say there is just too much emphasis on the way we look and not enough on the person we are.

  6. I feel exactly the same too Thea, and I think you'll find a lot of people will agree. I don't want to heart my body, I want to heart myself. I blogged last week about my emotional eating habits getting out of control again because I knew if I put it out there I would stop doing it. And I have. And if that brings me a step closer to loving myself a little more, then that's all I can ask for. I'm pretty sure my body will follow. Thanks for being so honest. xx

  7. I hear ya hun. I love that other woman are so confident that they can show of their nods. Me? Meh not so much. I know what you mean though - it can get depressing, especially when you see woman with 3 month old babies and perfect bods. cc

  8. Oh Thea, what a great post and I couldn't agree more. It completely irritates me the emphasis the world seem to place on women's bodies. I hate my body too and probably what makes me even more upset is when people don't understand that. I am tall, yes... and not overweight. BUT I am so repulsed by my stomach and chest, that even I don't like to look at them, let alone having anyone else see them. Like yourself, I recognise that it is MY issue and no one else's and I don't like to go on about it. But I definitely couldn't post a pic of myself, unless I was wearing clothes of course. Good on you for putting it out there for all of us not hearting our bods xo

  9. This give a good topics. Almost women are desire to get a perfect body. some are so feel glad to saw about her body level. it's give a some reason for body issue.

    stop emotional eating

  10. We started 'I heart my body' last year when Carly had been in the cosmo mag and instead of being excited she was in a major magazine and had a great experience, she was focussing on how her legs looked and how she didn't like the way she looked.

    These days, women put so much into how we look, want to look and don't want to look we lose sight of ourselves.

    I heart my body isn't about getting naked on the internet, or even posing in your underwear.
    It's about saying you know what, today I don't care that I have cellulite and I don't care that my jeans are too tight and I hate my arms in tank tops.

    On most days I'm extremely negative about my body. I hate how fat I've gotten, I've let my weight get in the way of so much, most importantly my fertility.
    BUT I can tell you, the day I wrote the post on WHL and put my own I heart my body post up on my blog, I felt a little happier.
    Instead of feeling fat and ugly, I felt pretty for the first time in a very very long time.

    I've met you Thea, you are beautiful just the way you are.


  11. I'm sorry you don't love your body Thea. I'm also sorry that you feel you have to lose weight. I wish women weren't made to feel that they aren't skinny enough and everyone could love their body the way it is now, rather than a future ideal!

  12. not happy either, and i have tried and failed to ditch the wallow where my waist used to be. i say it's for health (but i actually am quite healthy) but i really want to slip into a lovely frock and look, well, lovely …

    when did being the perfect parent embrace being a perfect size 8 … and when did we swallow the lie that to be happy we had to look a certain way? what happened to looking good for your age! now we have to look good for a pre-pubescent boy according to the fashionistas.

    thank you for helping me to focus a few of the unhelpful thoughts that have been wasting space in my head. keep it coming … xt

  13. Right there with you! I couldn't post either :( I don't heart my body for a million reasons.

  14. Stop listening to the lies that you are anything but perfect they way you are.
    Keeping your clothes on is admired in this less than modest world.
    Your hubby loves your curves, let that free your concern.
    You choose to spend more time with your kids than fussing over yourself and the says a lot about your character and selflessness.
    Health is more important than being skinny, and mostly your joints aren't up to heavy physical exercise.
    How wonderful is it that we live in a rich country and never have to go without food.
    Thankful. xx
    (little sis lecture over)


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