I've been reading a few 'I Heart My Body' posts in the blogosphere lately.
I do understand that this idea is supposed to be a positive thing.
But for me, I just feel worse every time I see or read one.
It is not my intention for one second to offend anyone who has written one of these posts.
I completely admire every one of them.
There is just no way that I would write one myself.
And that is because I do not heart my body.
I'm not happy with it.
I'm not proud of it.
I don't like it.
And I'm not going to pretend that I do.
Yeah, it's an issue for me.
But we all have issues, don't we?
I've had it for most of my life.
Even when I was much thinner and fitter than I am now.
There have been brief reprieves from my body image issue.
Parents, friends, boyfriends, husbands have all played a part in it.
But I accept total responsibility for how I feel and how I look.
My lack of love for my body is not helped by the fact that I've put on 10kg since my children were born.
Nor by the fact that everywhere I turn the media is telling me I should look like Miranda Kerr or Kate Middleton, to name but two.
I hate that there are so many things I wish I could wear, but I simply cannot because I feel way too fat in them.
I hate that I won't get in the pool any more to swim with my kids because I feel hideous in togs.
I do believe that the 'I Heart My Body' link is trying to make a change in the way women feel.
And it does have a positive effect on a lot of women, and that is wonderful.
But sadly I don't feel at all positive about my body.
I don't think it's good to hate my body.
But I'm not going to try to love it, either.
I just wish there was less emphasis on women's bodies.
Good or bad.
I wish everyone cared less.
I wonder if women who lived in more modest times had body image issues?
I wonder if women who live in cultures which require them to cover up have body image issues?
All I know is I have these issues, and many, many women I know have them also.
And I realize that all I need to do is eat less
It's not rocket science.
But for now I feel fat and uncomfortable and you won't be seeing me in my underwear any time soon.
No, make that...ever.
|This is NOT me.|