Twelve Days of Christmas

It's almost December!  Time to break out the Christmas spirit, put up the tree and start singing carols (not sometime in late October as the shops would have you believe).  I don't know about you, but I find "The Twelve Days of Christmas" particularly amusing, especially at carols nights when by the twelfth verse it starts to sound something like this:

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Twelve hmm hmm hmm hmm
Eleven la la la la
Ten da de doo doo
Nine dum de dum dum
Eight *whistle whistle*
Seven something somethings
Six willy wonkas
FIVE GO-OLD RINGS
Four mm mm birds
Three ...ench hens
Two turtle doves
AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREEEEEEEEEEEEE



Here's my version for those of us who don't read or hear it quite right.  Sing along now...

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

 


On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.



 

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Five cold gins (and tonics)
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Six Matisse paintings
Five cold gins (and tonics)
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Seven long stemmed lilies
Six Matisse paintings
Five cold gins (and tonics)
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Eight mudslide milkies
Seven long stemmed lilies
Six Matisse paintings
Five cold gins (and tonics)
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.




On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Nine Lady Gagas
Eight mudslide milkies
Seven long stemmed lilies
Six Matisse paintings
Five cold gins (and tonics)
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Ten Dior earrings
Nine Lady Gagas
Eight mudslide milkies
Seven long stemmed lilies
Six Matisse paintings
Five cold gins (and tonics)
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Eleven pure white diamonds
Ten Dior earrings
Nine Lady Gagas
Eight mudslide milkies
Seven long stemmed lilies
Six Matisse paintings
Five cold gins (and tonics)
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Twelve rums in tumblers
Eleven pure white diamonds
Ten Dior earrings
Nine Lady Gagas
Eight mudslide milkies
Seven long stemmed lilies
Six Matisse paintings
Five cold gins (and tonics)
Four Cadbury Twirls
Three Mercedes Benzes
Two purple gloves and
An iPhone for twit-ter-ing.

The real words for those of you who have forgotten or never knew in the first place are:

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Twelve drummers drumming

Eleven pipers piping

Ten lords a-leaping

Nine ladies dancing

Eight maids a-milking

Seven swans a-swimming

Six geese a-laying

Five golden rings

Four calling birds

Three French hens

Two turtle doves

And a partridge in a pear tree!

PS  Just what you would do with nine Lady Gagas I do not know.......

Sexiest Man Alive

Well I have been pleasantly surprised this morning.

Today is the big release day of the second Twilight movie (apparently) and it was all over the TV news this morning.  As I was looking at a scrawny, ashen, completely unattractive (to me) young boy, I felt old age slap me in the face again.  I remembered when women of my mother's era (not my mother because she just wasn't 'like that') drooling over Paul Newman and Robert Redford and I just used to think they were old men.  This morning I thought I'd turned into an oldie because I just don't get this Robert Pattinson thing at all!!  Give me Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman, even Tom Cruise any day.

And then it happened.  Another item on the TV news...the announcement of the new 'Sexiest Man Alive'.  I was a little sad to see Hugh Jackman's reign come to an end and had fully expected to see Robert Pattinson take the title because he was apparently a shoe in or shoo in (where did that come from by the way??).  But no, the new 'Sexiest Man Alive' is Johnny Depp.  Oh thank God.  The world has not gone mad and I have not turned into an old fogie overnight.  PHEW!!

So I thought I'd have a little fun this morning and name my top 10 list of the Sexiest Men Alive....here goes....

10.  Simon Baker - he's been a hottie since the days of E Street when he was Simon Denny, then Simon Baker-Denny and now Simon Baker.

9.  Pierce Brosnan - I was a massive Remington Steele fan...he was why!

8.  David Beckham - OK, we all know about his voice, but you can't deny he's a good looking man (when you can't see his tatts).

7.  Owen Wilson - He cute and funny, gotta love that!

6.  Hugh Grant - Yes, I know he's foppish, but I happen to find foppish very attractive.

5.  Hugh Jackman - another Hugh.  Can't go past last year's winner.

4.  Matthew McConaughey - Oh yeah, and he comes with a Texan drawl.

3.  Tom Cruise - I know, I know, he's a little nutty.  But he's gorgeous, always has been, always will be!!

2.  Brad Pitt - There's only one word for Mr Pitt....Phwaw!!!!!!

(Drum roll please)

My Number 1 is......my husband.  And as much as I would love to put a pic of him on he would kill me if I did.  Let's just say he's the best bits of all the men above rolled into one.  Yep, he's that good!  I married him for his looks, of course.

So ladies, have some fun with me, who are your top 10 sexiest men alive?

Oh, OK fellas, you can join the fun, who are your top 10 sexiest women alive??


PS Or men's top 10 men, or ladies' top 10 women (you're quite right Emily!)