Saturday, July 3, 2010

Conversation With My 5 Year Old

Last Wednesday night I had tucked both of my children into bed, poured myself a glass of wine and settled into the couch with my laptop for one of my favourite TV shows, The Bachelorette!
Oh yes, I'm a massive reality crap TV fan.  And this is one of the finest in that genre.
Just as it started my five year old boy quietly sneaked out of his bedroom and planted himself on the couch beside me.
Here is the conversation that ensued....

He - I can't get to sleep. I'm scared.
Me - You can't stay out here, this isn't a kid's show.
He - Well can't you just flip it over to another show?
Me - No, I really want to watch this show. It's only for grown ups.
He - Why? Why can't kids watch it? Does it have fighting?
Me - No, you know I don't like to watch fighting shows.
He - Does it have swearing?
Me - Oh, maybe a bit. But no, there's not much swearing in this show.
He - Well, why can't I watch it?
Me - Because there's grown up stuff in it.
He - Like what?
Me - Well, it's about love and stuff.
He - But what's wrong with that? Love is good. You're supposed to love each other.
Me - Yes, but this is grown up love stuff.
He - Ohhhhhhhhhh, you mean kissing and stuff!
Me - YES! Yes, exactly! Now, go to bed!!

Oh can see it now can't you?
I'm going to be just fabulous when he starts asking about S.E.X and stuff!!


  1. Last year while we were away for a weekends break & a birthday treat for me at Ipswich. My 10 year old daughter asked me what a certain tablet was, I had to sit down & explain to her it was the pill & what it does to a lady. I'm sure when the time comes you will handle it just right

  2. Motorbikes_Lady - thanks so much for following and welcome!! So funny you should say that, because he just picked up my pack of 'those' the other day and asked what they were!!!! LOL
    Needless to say, I did not give any long this point! One day I'll have to, though.

  3. I have always adopted a policy of "tell just enough to answer a question" for any of the "big stuff". So my (then) 6yo knew that the babies were made when "cells" from the father and mother got together. Then one night, out of the blue, (we were making her bed), she said that she knew about the cells thing, but how did the cells get from the father to the mother. I gulped and started to give an explanation using the "p" and the "v" words, when she held up her hand in a stop sign, and said "Ok, don't be ridiculous. If you are going to give stupid answers, I am not asking you any more questions!" Dodged that one!!

  4. *shudder* Yep. I'm a little hesitant about the whole answering the big questions kinda stuff. The kids asked me how babies come out once. I told them, "Well, *some* Mummy's have their baby taken out of their tummy by cutting the tummy open." Then I just prayed they wouldn't ask what the other Mummies do. They didn't. Fingers crossed it stays that way for a while!

  5. Lindy Thinks made me laugh out loud! "OK, don't be ridiculous..." That was hilarious.

    This post reminded me of a conversation or perhaps it was an ad on TV, where the parent is asked "Where do I come from?" by a child and the parent goes into the big talk with all the gory detail. Then the child looks quizzically at the parent and says "Oh. My friend Jimmy says he's from England".

  6. Very cute - my SIL was laughing at a risque story and her son "didn't get it" - she told a fair bit of the B&B story to explain the joke - his response was "sure, but I still don't think it is funny"

  7. Chuckles, this brings back memories - you are going to love the S.E.X. and stuff. Hee hee


Just one little comment will make my day.