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Monday, August 23, 2010

New (Major) Dilemma

Another thing has come up that has sent me reeling back to feeling like a child...again!
You might remember that I was all worked up about a girls' night out in Brisbane at the beginning of the year.
I guess I am shy although I don't really like that word.
My mother always tried to get me out of my shyness as a child.
Dad never did, he understood because he was/is exactly the same.
Shyness is a part of me, it's who I am, and I'll be shy until the day I die.
I'm 41, I think it's fairly obvious that I am not going to grow out of it.
It is painful.
However I don't think I'm painfully shy.
I can chat fairly easily to most people.
At worst people who don't know me might think I'm just a bit quiet.
But on the inside I'm shaking like a leaf.
It is all about confidence, and I really do not have enough.
I do feel like a child when I'm faced with something new or I'm pushed out of my comfort zone.
I want my mummy husband/sister/friend to hold my hand.
If I'm with someone I know really well I'm totally fine.
But if I have to do something alone or with people I do not know well, I turn into a 40 year old 4 year old!

So what am I talking about?
The ABC - Aussie Blogger's Conference
If you haven't heard about it, where have you been?
I know a lot of you are hoping to go.
And some of my sweetest blogging/tweeting buddies, whom I would love to meet, have already promised to hold my hand.
But I still feel nervous.
I don't know if I can do it.
God, that sounds pathetic, but that's honestly how I feel.

Are you going?
How are you feeling about it?
And if anyone has some spare confidence lying around could you send it my way, please??

13 comments:

  1. Oh Thea. I am exactly the same. AS a child, I would wishfully watch my little brother as he made friends in the blink of an eye in the sandpit. Whilst I watched on, playing alone.

    Can we hold hands together?

    xx

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  2. Babe I'll have a drink waiting with your name on it. We can hang out and be shy together x

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  3. Honey - you CAN do it. You really can. It's the whole process of getting there that's putting you off - but if you lie down, close your eyes and picture yourself there when all the travel and initial walk thru the door is over, I'm sure you'll be able to picture yourself chatting, drink in hand and talking about bloggy stuff and having fun!

    It will be too much fun to miss because of your initial fear. Don't let that fear stop you from something you know you really do want to do, and won't regret. Promise.

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  4. IF I had any spare confidence I'd send it to you but I think you'd be better off haoldign Lucy's hand and takign up Seraphim's drink offer. Maybe she could make it a double?

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  5. Aw it's in Sydney. Do you know if there's anything similar coming up for Brisvegas?

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  6. Lovely Thea. We will fly down together. I will hold your hand all the way. We will have so much fun. I used to be excruciatingly shy - but have grown out of it. I still remember what it was like. I still suffer anxiety/panic attacks when I least expect it. But the thing I've learnt is it doesn't kill me. Doing something out of my comfort zone and having a good time doing it, gives me more confidence.

    You and I will have an amazing time. You just have to do it. Don't over think it. xxx

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  7. I'll let you in on a secret Thea... pretty much all of us will feel exactly the same way. Some people are better than others at hiding it, that's all.

    I'll let you in on another secret... because we read each others blogs, tweet & facebook all together, we know so much that all the icky small talk is pushed aside and it's like meeting old friends.

    If I can do it three times now.... you can too. I'll hold your hand, have a glass of bubbly waiting for you with a smile and a hug.

    I can't wait to meet you. I'll be the one in the ruby read hat xxx

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  8. This is me. Completely.
    I just read an interesting post on introversion and shyness that made a lot of things clear: http://www.pattyk.com/introversion-and-shyness-are-not-the-same-thing/
    I do agree wholeheartedly with Jodie though, don't let your fear block your path; close your eyes, take a deep breath and do it.

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  9. You have to move out of your comfort zone sometimes. You just do.

    xoxoxo

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  10. You aren't shy, you have social phobia :)

    http://www.socialphobia.org/
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_phobia

    If you want to deal with it, therapy helps (I've had it). You can get referred from your GP for a mental health plan to a therapist. It covers about $80 of the $100 cost and gives you 12 weeks help.

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  11. Oh, I am sure we'd all be feeling shy, even if in varying degrees :)

    You should do it, I'm sure you'd be very proud of yourself, and have no regrets!

    I used to be shy as a child and am still not the loudest in a room, by far...but have overcome most of it. I think in my late teens/early20's I discovered that asking other people questions about themselves kind of forced me not to be shy (and I also liked finding out about people). Now, it's habit for me to ask someone several questions about themselves!

    Glad I have come across your blog!

    Alison

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  12. I wish I was going to ABC, but even if I were, I think I would feel exactly as you do!

    Sounds like you will have plenty of friends to hold your hand though!

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  13. Hi Thea. :) I ended up on your blog randomly - by hitting "next blog" on the top of my own blog. Sometimes not a good idea, but I sometimes meet interesting people that way.

    I have to tell you, I can relate... not to being shy so much - because I'm not so much (although sometimes I am), but I have thought about going to blogging conferences and always chicken out when I think about it. I also want to go to a writer's conference, but I chicken out on those too. ha!

    You know, I say, conquer when you must, but let yourself be yourself too. I think being shy is part of who some people are.

    So nice to meet you. :)
    Lynnette
    Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground

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