Last night I had some shocking news.
I received a message on Facebook from a friend I taught with years ago in another town letting me know that a little girl I taught in Year 2 in 2001 had died.
I remembered her well. I also taught her big sister two years earlier. I clearly remembered their mother's beautiful face. And was instantly shattered thinking about how they must be feeling. I cannot even begin to imagine how painful it must be.
I moved away from that school at the end of that year.
So I haven't seen nor heard or even thought about her for nine years.
But I do remember that she was a sweet little girl.
I remember her beautiful eyes looking up at me from her shyly dipped face.
She was very quiet.
She was reserved.
She was a little lacking in confidence, unlike her sister.
Her sister acted like her guardian, always looking out for her, taking care of her.
How must she be feeling today?
For all the years I taught I remember looking at the sea of little faces and wondering what they may become when they grow up.
But I do not recall ever looking at that sea of faces and wondering...
which of you will contract a terminal illness...
which of you will be fatally injured in an accident...
which of you will overdose on drugs...
which of you will hang yourself at a party?
Which is what this beautiful young girl did.
If my Maths is correct, she must have been about 16 years old.
People lose loved ones all the time.
But suicide must be twice as hard to deal with for family and friends because of the (I don't want to say stigma because that has a sense of judgement that I don't want to attach to this issue) deliberate nature of losing someone so close, so treasured, so precious.
The "what ifs" and "if onlys" must be haunting.
I pray that her loved ones find some comfort somewhere, somehow because I imagine that they won't be feeling a sense of peace any time soon, if ever.
It makes me look at my own children and hope and pray that a tragedy of that magnitude never touches us, but you can never be sure.
I am sure that I will be giving them extra cuddles today, for today I am counting my blessings.
My heart goes out to the family and friends of the beautiful young girl who is gone too soon.
R.I.P. Alix
That is just so heartbreakingly sad. I have no idea how a mother, brother, sister, father moves on from such a loss. My heart goes out to them. xx
ReplyDeleteWhat a tragedy. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteDeath of a child is always a tragedy, suicide by a child seems to be so much more hard to fathom. My heart bleeds for that family as they try to understand her choice.
ReplyDeleteHugs for you too Thea, you seem to have special memories of this child as well and so this tragedy has also touched your heart. xxx
Heartbreaking. I cannot comprehend the pain her family are experiencing right now, the personal recriminations I imagine inevitably follow such a thing. I'm so sorry for them, and for you in your sadness. xx
ReplyDeleteThat is the most heartbreaking thing I could imagine.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
That's so sad :( My thoughts are with her family and with you, Thea xx
ReplyDeleteI'm always hopeless with words in these situations... Love and comfort to her family, friends, and everyone who ever cared for this girl, however short their time with her.
ReplyDeleteEvery parent's worse nightmare. I am sobbing.
ReplyDeleteI will say prayers for Alix and her family. So horrible.
xxxxx
Oh that's such sad news! It's so tragic that she felt this was the only way out. Love to you and her family...
ReplyDeleteThat's so incredibly sad for the family Thea. Beyond sad that Alix got no help for whatever her problems were :(
ReplyDeleteA sad reminder of the tragedy of suicide. I had a friend hang himself when I was in high school, many years ago. I still remember the shock and the pain.
ReplyDeleteHow awful and tragic. I feel for all that knew and loved her. Much love to you Thea. xxxx
ReplyDeleteSo terribly sad. How awful for her family, and for you. xxx
ReplyDeleteThis is so tragic. It is frightening when you wonder how darling, cute, wonderful little kids will turn out, and how much crap they will have to face in the future. Losing a child in any way is a parents' worse nightmare, but there's the extra torment of the 'why's and what ifs'. I try to instill in my kids even at this young age that nothing is ever so bad that they can't tell me, that nothing is ever so bad that we can't work at fixing it together. And yes, that nothing is so bad that they should take their life. We've had to have this talk on occasions, horrid as it is. Bless that darling girl and her family. xo
ReplyDeleteHow very Sad Thea!
ReplyDeleteyou and her family are in my thoughts..
Ali
x
Oh Thea, what a beautiful dedication.
ReplyDeleteThe way you described your memories of wondering what they would be when they grow up, not which one would leave the earth first goes to show how these kind of things hit you hard no matter who it is.
So sorry for her family's loss and yours. xxx
So very sad. I really try not to think about these things, but sometimes life won't let you not think.
ReplyDeleteSincerest sympathies.
Oh Thea. I am so so sorry. For their loss, for you.
ReplyDeleteSuicide is vile.
Hus to you. xx
When I was 16, a boy in my year hanged himself. It was so shocking, so sad, so soon.
ReplyDeleteSuicide is one of the scariest things in the world.
My thoughts are with you and Alix's family today :(
xx
Gosh that is so sad. Suicide is so difficult to understand. Especially at that age when you have your whole life ahead of you. *Hugs* xxxx
ReplyDelete