Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I've Been Replaced

I know I said I was too tired to blog. But this has been going around and around in my head and I just need to get it out.

Yesterday a play date was organized by one of the school mums for my son's classmates at a park.
I stupidly responded on Facebook that we would attend, before I checked who else was attending.
As soon as I did, I saw that the ex-bff, her new bff and the organizer were the only other three mums going.
But I shrugged it off.
How bad could it be?
I've been 'not talking' to her all year, every day, at school.
I could pretend again that nothing was wrong.
It was two hours of social disaster for me.
Firstly, the mum who organized the event didn't show.
Two and a half other mums did (the half was a mum who dropped her kids off for us to watch while she went on an errand, then she returned, collected her kids, and left).
And one of the other mums was a nutter little odd.
Throw into the mix my 3 year old, who was very clingy and wanted me to stand with her wherever she went in the playground.
So, not only did I feel like a mum on the outer, I looked like one, too.
On the few occasions that I did manage to sit at the table with the other mums, the ex-bff turned her back to me and spoke in hushed tones to her new bff, who oddly looks a little like me.
She even turned up with two cups of take-away Gloria Jeans coffees, like we used to do.
That's when it really hit me that I had been replaced.
It was about this point that I was really grateful for my sunglasses because it was all I could to do hold back a couple of tears.
Then to rub salt into my wounds, the mum who dumped and ran left a thank you on the FB group page thanking *insert names of mum A, mum B, mum C here* et al, for looking after her girls.
I'm 'et al' 'other'!
The thing is, my boy had a fabulous time, so did my girl.
As we were leaving she said, "That was fun, Mummy."
So, I'd do it all again, and I will for the next event already set up.
But I might just remember to put on my thicker skin when I'm getting ready for that one.

Don't feel too sorry for me, though.
This morning I had a very good friend over for a cuppa. Her kids, my kids and we had a great morning.
We chatted, we gossiped, we laughed.
She restored my soul.
Thank God for 'M'.


  1. many many hugs. There really is nothing sadder or harder than a break up of any kind :(
    you are doing very well.
    Horrible to be an "et al" though :( :(
    *hugs many* you are greatly appreciated :)

  2. I think you handled it fabulously! There is nothing sadder than a friend who is no longer a friend, as lifeslightlyused said, any break up is hard but a I think a friendship especially. Friends are people we share our deepest secrets with and when you lose that person, it can make you feel very vulnerable.

    You rock and it's your x BFF loss that you're not in her life anymore!


  3. High-schoolish behaviour never seems to end, does it?!

    I think you handled it really well. And as I saw somebody tweet to you yesterday, I'm sure you looked like the 'fun mum' hanging out in the playground. She might have even been a little bit jealous!

    Losing a friend is so sad at any age, but it's her loss!


  4. How horribly Mean Girls. Sounds like the only grown-up there was you Thea. Ditto everyone else on it being her loss. :-)

  5. Who does that kind of shit? Turns their back and whispers to someone else? Is she 9?

    Completely rude and by the sounds of it Thea, you are a way better person. Go for your kids and go for the mums that are nice enough to be respectful. xx

  6. If I could have play dates in the park with you lovely ladies and girl's nights at the life would be perfect!! ;) xxx

  7. I read this earlier on my phone {couldn't comment due to lack of focus required on tiny comment box}. Sounds like no fun at all. Glad your kids enjoyed it.

    You set up play dates using fb. Gosh. I hope they have a cheat sheet on this stuff when i finally become a mum.

    See you at the ovals. :oP

  8. I have been in a very similar predicament to what happened to you. Very uncomfortable for me.

    Glad you got through it though.

    Merry Christmas Hun. xx

  9. Perhaps your mature way of handling the situation will cause your ex friend to reflect on what she has lost...

    Keep your chin up x


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