Sunday, June 26, 2011


Exactly ten years ago, I met up with my soon-to-be-ex-husband to have our divorce documents witnessed by a JP. We didn't know a JP, so found one in the phone book at West End in Brisbane. Because West End is one of the best places in Brisbane for a coffee...we went for one afterwards. We sat together awkwardly, drank quickly, then wished each other a happy life and said goodbye.

Of course, I never wanted to see him again.
a) the awkward factor is too high for me and
b) I wanted to move on with my new life and marry my new love.

And I never did see him again...
helped by the fact that we live around 800km from each other...
until today.

We had just stepped out of Myer at Sunshine Plaza.
I was sniffing the two new perfumes that I had just on each you do!
When I caught a glimpse of a familiar figure.
At first I wasn't really sure if it was him.
And then I wasn't sure if I should point him out to my husband.
But it was and I did.
Fortunately he had his back to us so didn't see me.
I wonder if he would have recognized me.
He's a little heavier, so am I.
He's a little grey, so am I.
He has kids! So do I.

This was odd to see (even though I did hear that he did) because it was one of the reasons I left.
I always knew if I was patient and waited a few more years we would have kids.
But I'd waited 6 1/2 years, and was sick of waiting.
Granted, he was still finishing his teaching degree full time, it wasn't really possible.
But I'm so glad we didn't because I could make a clean break and move onto my new life.

Both my husband and I never talk about our past lives and partners.
They're like two giant elephants in the room.
So it was odd/weird/conspiratorial/nice/crazy that we both saw him today.
We could talk about it...albeit briefly.

"So he does have kids."
"So he did put on weight."

Two huge bugbears for me in that relationship.
He was never ready for kids and I was never thin enough for him.

Anyhow, as he stood waiting for his wife (I'm assuming he remarried, he may not have) at the coffee counter, holding onto a massive pram with God knows how many children...he was blissfully unaware that he'd been spotted.

And me...I felt just like the time I was on playground duty and was hit on the head with a soccer ball...stunned and dazed.

Like my husband said, thank God he didn't see us and we didn't have to speak.
I feel ill just thinking about that.

So this is why I have a small medicinal glass of wine at 4pm on a Sunday.
Have you ever had a close call?
And would you care to join me, I have a spare glass?!


  1. Wow. This happened exactly ten years after you last saw him?! That is CRAZY. It's funny how much people can change. And it's funny how life leads us in completely unexpected directions. Seeing him must've been the strangest experience for you xxx

  2. I am so relieved it worked out that he didn't see you.

    My worst fear is going back to my home town and seeing one of the ex boyfriends from way back. Your feelings were exactly how I would feel.

    The hardest thing is I still feel 20 something, but externally I am definately 40 something. I bet you feel the same.

    Hopefully your elephant lost some size.

  3. I ran into my ex a few years after leaving him at the Chermside Shopping Centre. Although I live well away from there.

    Didn't worry me running into him we had a quick chat although I didnt tell him where I moved to.

    The quick chat was more Hi how are you, you look alright see you later. Nothing deep or meaningful

    (((( Hugs )))) XXXX Kisses XXXX

  4. You ARE lucky that you did not have kids together and you ARE lucky that you don't have to see him/talk to him/live fairly near, as I do to all of the above. It makes me feel sick on a weekly basis :/

  5. Oh Thea. This just makes me want to reach through the computer screen and clink glasses with you.

    I cannot really blog about my ex - he Googles himself, the arrogant bastard.

    One day, perhaps.


  6. It's funny how people change! That certainly is a funny experience. I was at the plaza this afternoon too. Might have seen you there are not realised!

  7. I ran into mine once, or he ran into me. We were both in a city where we did not live, in a pub we had not been before. I was celebrating my birthday - my second since we split. I would have been fine (my family warned me he was nearby) if he hadn't chosen to come up and be sociable and say hi, and happy birthday. Later, he told me he thought that was the right thing to do, but I would have felt better NOT seeing him. But in a way he did me a favour as I realised I wasn't quite over him yet. That was the last time I cried myself to sleep over him.

  8. WOW!Wow! Wow!
    I did think recently as we drove the B town... that I haven't ever run into D... I imagine that would be a little awkward too

  9. Not truly the same situation, but after 30 years, I ran in to an ex-girlfriend. Actually 3 of them, and it wasn't unexpected since it was my high school reunion. I had actually spent some time with one a few months earlier (with my wife's full permission) but this one in particular I had expected to have an awkward reunion since I simply dumped her by not calling. (I was young and a jerk, I will admit.)

    Of the 3 she was the only one living in the area and since we were having an end of summer bbq at home the next weekend, my wife invited her to join us (!)

    Well, I have to say that after 10 minutes ... I remembered why I dumped her.


  10. I hate awkward situations.

    I'm lucky in that Will is really my first love and for him there wasn't anyone serious before me, so no exes to speak of. Anyway it would have to be a flippin miracle seeing as I live on the other side of the world from where I met him!

    I bet you are so relieved to have missed being spotted, but also to have a chance to talk about the elephant in the room, if only briefly.

  11. How bizarre - two worlds colliding. Thank goodness it wasn't one of those awkward bumping into each other, can't pretend you didn't see him, moments!

  12. Yes, I remember going out on the town and running smack bang into my ex, while my now hubby was standing beside me. Oh, the awkward memories. Quick, pour me a drink!

  13. Wowzas. Must have felt kinda strange afterwards.


  14. I actually blogged about exes during the week...I don't think I'd be too worried about running into any of mine...however I am completely afraid of running into my husband's ex fiance. That would be VERY wierd.

    I must have been a completely surreal experience, not surprised you needed a wee medicinal drink...I'd be in need of a large one!

    Tatum xx


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