I never feel that nationalistic pride that makes me want to do something special.
And then I read this on Facebook.
I was nodding my head and chuckling so much that I realized...
I'm a damn good Aussie after all.
And it's not really Stray'an to celebrate Australia Day anyway, is it?
So anyhow...have a read, a chuckle...and ava good Australia Day!
You know you're Australian if:
* You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
* You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
* You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'. You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
* You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
* You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
* You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'.
* You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
* You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
* You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
* You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
* You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
* You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
* Beetroot with your hamburger...of course.
* You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' And "Living next door to Alice".
* You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
* You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
* You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
* Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
* You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite.
* You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
* You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
* Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
* You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
* You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
* When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
* You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
* You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
* You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
* You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
* You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
* You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.
* You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
* You understand what no wucking furries means.
* You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
* You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
* You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.
* And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand
* You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
* You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
* You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'. You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
* You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
* You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
* You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'.
* You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
* You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
* You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
* You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
* You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
* You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
* Beetroot with your hamburger...of course.
* You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' And "Living next door to Alice".
* You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
* You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
* You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
* Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
* You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite.
* You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
* You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
* Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
* You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
* You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
* When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
* You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
* You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
* You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
* You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
* You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
* You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.
* You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
* You understand what no wucking furries means.
* You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
* You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
* You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.
* And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand
Is Australia Day really Australia Day without Sam Kekovich?
PS I just remembered I don't like pav...or lamingtons! Perhaps I'm not a damn good Aussie...???
:-)
ReplyDeleteHappy Astraya Day to you too.
:-)
Don't like pav?? That's okay, I'll have your share :) Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi !!
ReplyDeleteI'm posting this to my facebook, as it's pretty good :) It's ok, I don't like pav either! But man o man could I go a lamington right now...
ReplyDeleteAs I said sweetie you still drink grog so your a Aussie :-)
ReplyDelete(((( Hugs )))) XXXX Kisses XXXX
Hehe, a little cringeworthy, but oh so true :o/ And I think I'm definitely an Aussie through and through ;o) xo
ReplyDelete