Okay, before I begin, I just want to say I think everything is fine.
But I'm feeling like crap!
And I don't know about you, but after years and years of being married (to two different men) this has become my kind of normal.
I think it comes with being an emotional type person, which clearly I am.
I have ups (massive ones) and downs (massive ones).
And sometimes I'd kill for being a even-keel-no-ups-or-downs kinda person.
But that's not me.
And I can't make that me no matter what I do.
My life is a roller coaster.
And as much as I love a good roller coaster (the Corkscrew at Sea World is my favourite)
I'm not so happy about it being my life.
So here I am.
Being all open and honest and probably saying things I should just shut up about.
But right now I feel that the love has run out.
Do you see the double meaning here?
Because to me...it has run out, as in - it's depleted.
And...it has run out, as in - run out the front door and slammed it on the way out.
This is not new.
It has happened many times before.
That is why I can write this and be optimistically hopeful that it is a passing phase.
You don't need to know details.
They're relatively minor...as they always are.
Ask me next week and I'll most likely have forgotten what the argument was all about.
I know it will blow over, that I just need to ride it out.
And I probably shouldn't talk about it.
But it's a very lonely place to be...sitting in the middle of a rough patch.
Because the one you usually turn to for everything has become your enemy for the minute.
So I'm not keeping quiet, like I should.
Because I feel the need to reach out.
I don't want to feel lonely, or alone.
Think of "it" as waves rolling i to the beach, they are more gentle but can be ferocious then the sea becomes calm and not a ripple. Life is like that Age , plays a big part in our emotions, try to ride out the storm and as you said " I know it will blow over " best of luck, look up, defy the negatives they belong in the dark room.
ReplyDeleteThea, I would suggest that things may be worse if you were indifferent, or didn't feel anything. Emotional ups and downs can be hard on everyone involved, but I think it's better to express what you are feeling rather than bottle it up or pretend it isn't there. It is the way you express yourself that makes all the difference. All the best! x
ReplyDeleteThea, I promise you are not alone. The lovely husband is so very often a dickhead and I am equally a bitch. 2009 was one great big rough patch for us. You are not alone. xxx
ReplyDeleteIt's our feminist upbringings - learning to stand up for ourselves and fighting for what we want. You are definitely not alone, but those inbetween times are difficult, I know.
ReplyDeleteHope it clears up sooner rather then later. Our last down was Valentine's Day, but it's sorted now, and you wouldn't even know it had happened. Take care, my sweet. You are loved.xx
Sometimes the roller coaster is not fun and other times it's unbelievably good, part of the fun is riding it together. You are definitely not alone and you will definitely come out the other side, probably stronger together.
ReplyDeleteHope today was a better day.
Oh Thea.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it's crap at the moment.
You're definitely not alone.
We all have our testing times.
I always feel so refreshed after a good gorly chat where we all air our dirty laundry and realise every couple goes through their own stuff.
Hubby's paddling mate's wife (??!!) recently told me she couldn't imagine us fighting.
I nearly spat my food out and laughed out loud!!!!
I hope this week is a better one.
:-) xxxxx
I'm feeling you Thea. The rough patches totally suck and like yourself, I think I'm a rollercoaster kinda gal too. Sounds like we've both been having particularly rough moments of late... though for different reasons of course.
ReplyDeleteHope you start to soar back to those wonderful dizzying heights asap xo