Okay, before I begin, I just want to say I think everything is fine.
But I'm feeling like crap!
And I don't know about you, but after years and years of being married (to two different men) this has become my kind of normal.
I think it comes with being an emotional type person, which clearly I am.
I have ups (massive ones) and downs (massive ones).
And sometimes I'd kill for being a even-keel-no-ups-or-downs kinda person.
But that's not me.
And I can't make that me no matter what I do.
My life is a roller coaster.
And as much as I love a good roller coaster (the Corkscrew at Sea World is my favourite)
I'm not so happy about it being my life.
So here I am.
Being all open and honest and probably saying things I should just shut up about.
But right now I feel that the love has run out.
Do you see the double meaning here?
Because to me...it has run out, as in - it's depleted.
And...it has run out, as in - run out the front door and slammed it on the way out.
This is not new.
It has happened many times before.
That is why I can write this and be optimistically hopeful that it is a passing phase.
You don't need to know details.
They're relatively minor...as they always are.
Ask me next week and I'll most likely have forgotten what the argument was all about.
I know it will blow over, that I just need to ride it out.
And I probably shouldn't talk about it.
But it's a very lonely place to be...sitting in the middle of a rough patch.
Because the one you usually turn to for everything has become your enemy for the minute.
So I'm not keeping quiet, like I should.
Because I feel the need to reach out.
I don't want to feel lonely, or alone.