Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Cross to Bear

As you read this, without moving, do you feel pain anywhere in your body?

If you don't, be very thankful.

I always forget to be thankful on the few days I happen to be pain free, because that's how it's supposed to be, right?

I sure as hell don't forget I HAVE pain on the almost every day I do have it.

It's not dire, I'm not crippled or hospitalized. Most days the pain is somewhere between 5 & 7/10, so it's bearable. But it is tiring, draining and makes me very, very cranky. Even if I pop a few paracetamol or ibuprofen tablets, I can usually still feel something somewhere. Most days I don't say anything because what's the point?

I just wish it would all go away. That's such a whingy thing to say, I know a lot of people have severe chronic pain and that I shouldn't complain.

By the way, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. It was diagnosed just after my first child was born. It's not bad, no disfigurement, no swelling even, it just hurts almost everywhere almost all the time. I'm on medication that was working very well, but in the last couple of weeks it seems to have lost it's magical powers.

What is possibly even nastier than the pain is the malaise that goes with it. You know that feeling of general discomfort or uneasiness, that "out of sorts" feeling. It's all part and parcel of Rheumatoid Arthritis. But I guess everyone has a cross to bear and this just happens to be mine.

So anyway, if it persists, I'll probably get it all sorted at my next specialist appointment (in December!). But until then, I just wanted to remind you how lucky you are if you are pain free today. Enjoy it and be thankful.

What's your cross?


  1. I just posted on Facebook that i have just picked up a new script for morphine (my first since feb last year!) ......must be the day for pain to strike and remind us that it will always be there! Bastard!!

    Some days we lose the fight but we will win the battle!

  2. yes I am thankful, I don't cope at all with any pain. One day of pain and I pretty much lose it! I have a friend here on the coast dealing with chronic pain and she's now supporting others with pain. She's been very helpful to another friend I have. If you ever want to chat to her I can give you her number, she's good with listening and understands pain.


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