Monday, December 14, 2009

I'm Too Fat (Well, that's how I see it!)

I'm having a down day.

Brought on by feeling fat which is a common cause of 'down-ness' for me.

And I really want to eat something, anything, everything.  Which of course just makes me fatter and perpetuates the whole state of 'down-dom'.

I know I'm not alone.  I know just about every woman feels like this...a lot.

But it is stupid and silly and maddening all at the same time because I know how ridiculous the vicious cycle is, yet I feel powerless to stop it.

And again, I'm quite sure that is the way just about every other woman feels...a lot.

It has nothing to do with how anyone else makes me feel.  No one has told me I'm fat.  My husband always tells me I look perfect (yes, I am very lucky!).  It is how I see myself.

I'm not greatly overweight.  I only need to lose 1/2kg (yes, only 1/2) to be in the healthy weight range on the BMI index.  But I need to lose 6kgs to be happy or 8kgs to be ecstatic!

I know all the things I need to do, I know how, I know what, I know everything!

My problem is in the doing.  I'm just plain old lazy.  I mean really, really lazy.  I like doing nothing, and I can do nothing for a very long time.  Then I do go a bit stir crazy which spurs me into action...for a little while.  Having two little kids does help a bit, I can't do nothing for very long with them around.  But looking after them most definitely is not fat burningly strenuous!

The saddest thing about this feeling that comes and goes (but usually outstays it's welcome) is that I will more than likely spend the majority of my whole life feeling this way.  There have only been two very brief times, in my late teens and my late twenties, that I have been happy with my weight. 

I can see only three solutions...

1.  I shape up and eat right - not very likely while I'm so me-time-poor...

2.  We abolish mirrors and photos - but I couldn't live without photos of my kids...

3.  We adopt a global women's uniform, shapeless, formless, comfortable...BORING!

OK...I can see no solutions.
No matter, I'll be over it soon.  Until the next time 'down-dom' rolls into town.


  1. Blame it all on water retention and hormones. Bloody hormones!

  2. 1. Don't be so hard on yourself
    2. drink more water, less coffee and take in sugar
    3. If it's your hormones, don't look in the mirror or at photos for a couple of days!
    (this is the reason why I don't have any full length mirrors in the house!!)

  3. Honey, you have to stop the negative self talk. You are not only hurting yourself with it, you are teaching your children how to hurt themselves with it as well. You are a beautiful young lady. You are healthy. You are VERY smart and talented. If you were my daughter I'd be bragging to the whole world that you were mine.

    I wish I was there right now so I could give you a big hug, stand you next to me in front of a full-length mirror and say, NOW THIS IS WHAT FAT LOOKS LIKE, CHICK! LOL! (Really, I am... 5'4 250 lbs.) Keep it up and I'm sending you my naked picture to put on your mirror to remind you to be kinder to yourself before you DO end up where I am... cuz that's exactly how I got here. Hugs, hon.

  4. Well beautiful Thea! What can I say? Get out there and do something about it! prioritise to make some more me-time for u! do some exercise and u will feel better about urself.. I have been doing so, and I don't know that I look any better but I FEEL better about myself and that's all that counts! Besides, I think your a beautiful lady! So hope your feeling better soon! If it is hormones then stay away from a mirror for a few days!! lots of luv... I am exerecising every day, and even having the last week off the gym I can't wait to get back today!!! xxxxxx

  5. We are way to similar - had a "fat weekend" -
    boys don't see fat, we do it all to ourselves (but that doesn't make it any easier).

    Hugs to you from me and may the skinny mood return soon xoxo

  6. Grrr don't say the F word. You know the one that's worse than the one that rhymes with duck. It's now removed from your vocab. Don't let me see you use other words either.

    Ok, I find when I've got the kids and feel fat.. I take them for a long walk to the park for fresh air because if I sit around too long.. the F word starts to appear.

    Also throw out any clothes of yours that make you look .. F word. Horizontal stripes are bad. Large floral prints (one word. Grandma).

    Also butt clenches. Awesomeness. You can do them without looking like you're doing them.

    That's my little words of wisdom.

  7. So with you on this. If you looked at me, you would probably think I don't need to do anything, but I have such a problem with my middle region (I hide it), and I know it's because I'm eating crap and not exercising. And just like you: I'm lazy. And I don't want to be, because my Mum's like that, and at 81, she can hardly move.

    I blogged about this and I was going to get in shape and blah blah blah, and I started well, but have fallen by the way side. I'm off to the gym that's downstairs where I'm staying at the moment tomorrow to hit the treadmill!

    Thanks for the motivation. It's made me think again about it, and I'm going to get motivated! (Maybe I can fit in to that bikini I tweeted about at some point... HA! Sure.)

  8. I think Damama's post is very wise. We sabotage ourselves with the negatives we let play and replay in our minds. Change the record (I guess today it would be CD, or something). We are in charge of what we think.

  9. hey I felt like you yesterday - but today is a new day. Bottom line is we are responsible for ourselves - think we need to start a pact together hey? skinny doesn't = happy don't forget - happiness comes from elsewhere - don't let 6-8kg be the difference between happy or sad - (I am writing this to myself as much as to you!) Hope you have a happy day tomorrow.

  10. We all do this, no matter our height, weight... I have come to realise I am who I am, I have 2 great kids, and my body tells that story. I have learnt to dress to highlight the good, and hide the not so good... and to not be too hard on my self. Also hormones are evil bitches. Ban mirror gazing at all times of hormonal upheaval. You're gorgeous. :)

  11. Oh hon - I hate that feeling. Once I was told that you can't "feel' fat, you can only think you look that, or that you feel bad about yourself...I still feel fat regualrly. Every Single Day. I am hoping it will stop eventually. Many Hugs. As far as I know you are beautiful and most of the women I hear the * i need to lose weight* from are the women I wish I looked like, cause I hate how I look, and i hate the stuff I have to do to maintain it...*hugs* again.


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