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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Solitude

There is one thing that I want right now.
Just one.
It's not expensive.
In fact, it costs nothing.
I want some me time.
No, I need some me time.
I need solitude.
And that is something I never get.
I don't want to get out or go anywhere.
I want my house all to myself.
I want everyone else to go somewhere.
For two whole days.
I want to be all by myself in my home.
I don't want to watch kid's movies.
I don't want to listen to kid's TV.
I don't want to hear any noise.
I don't want to get anything for anyone.
I don't want to do anything for anyone.
I don't want to get anyone dressed.
I don't want to make breakfast, lunch or dinner.
I don't want to bath anyone or read bedtime stories.
I can feel my stress levels rising.
Some people find solitude lonely.
Some people don't like to be alone.
The need to be completely alone is part of who I am.
It's the way I recharge.
But it's not going to happen.
It never does.
The second best way is to go for a long walk, by myself.

Guess what I'll be doing later today?

15 comments:

  1. I dub this "The Ode to Motherhood" - I'm a loner too. I totally get it.

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  2. I get it too. Love the kids and family life but sometimes you just need some peace and quiet to do what you want and put yourself first for a change. That is an unexpected benefit of being a single Mum, as even though I miss them and fret when they are away from me, I do get some time at my home alone. Had a hot bubble bath this morning for the first time in years! Seemed so indulgent ...

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  3. I hear you Thea - one day when they are a little older it will happen. Hold onto that thought and enjoy your walk this afternoon. xxx

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  4. I get it Thea. Cate's right, it is an ode to Motherhood. Have a great walk. x

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  5. I'm a loner too, there's nothing I love more than spending time alone in a quiet house.

    Have a great walk :)

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  6. Totally get it! I feel like this a lot. I am lucky to get a few hours on the weekend to myself. I am happy for that. Enjoy your walk.

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  7. Oh yes please! Ditto your whole post, especially today!

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  8. I commented earlier but it must have gone to that place where the odd socks live.

    I am a people person and I recharge off other people, but I totally get this because being a mum, wife, partner it is very rare to have any time that is just devoted to me. Someone always wants/needs something. Whilst I love being needed I do need some total time out where nobody wants anything or any piece of me. Enjoy your walk today. xx

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  9. OMG I so hear you. I don't even want two days. Just a whole day and night - just for me - not to worry about anybody else.

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  10. I felt so sad for you when I read that. All I can say is that it gets better, eventually, but it's hard getting through it. I agree about solitude..I think it's mandatory from time to time. I hope you get some soon.

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  11. Thea, probably the best thing about my empty nest is my me time. I get loads of it and I love it. Your turn will come, trust me x

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  12. I get this and felt the same all day. My skin is crawling for some completely alone time. I knocked back work tomorrow just to have a small patch of it while the kids are in care/school! I dream of a weekend..imagine a whole weekend! BLISS! LIke you though it never happens around here *sigh*

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  13. I have found motherhood so much easier/more enjoyable since my two have started school! Hang in there- the day *will* come. I need those quiet hours too- very much. Nearly did my head in not having them when mine were younger.

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