She is only going two days a week.
But I am not ready!
I have never left her with anyone for a whole day before, ever.
She has stayed with her grandmothers (with her brother) for a few hours when we've been to a wedding, or out for lunch, dinner or shopping.
But no more than five times, ever!
I have been doing and saying all the right things.
Being upbeat, being excited, telling her how wonderful it will be.
And still she says,
"Mummy, I don't want to go to kindy.
Don't leave me."
I'm telling you, if any words can break the heart of a mummy, it's those words!
I know she'll be fine.
I know she'll grow to love it after awhile.
I know it will be good for her, and I suppose me.
But I don't want to leave her!
She is my little angel.
She is my sunshine.
She is my constant companion.
And she's the loveliest little companion a mother could wish for.
*Now I've gone and made myself cry!!*
She's my last baby.
There are no more.
There will be no more.
This is the end.
It is the end of me being a full time stay at home mum.
I'll be available for relief teaching on the days she is at kindy.
So, that's it.
The best time of my life, my dream job, the job I've been waiting for all my life...
Well, you know, not over, I'm still a mum.
But it will be new.
It will be different.
I don't like new and different until it turns into old and familiar.
Eventually, of course, it will become old and familiar.
Right before something new and different comes along again.