A Letter To Myself

Dear 40-something year old Thea,

At a certain age things will begin to happen to you.

You will gain more weight than you ever thought you would. And it doesn't matter what you do, it won't budge. I guess it might if you join some ridiculous program like the 12WBT. But trust me, it is not worth flogging yourself just to get your figure back. There are more important things. Just start shopping at Millers instead! 

You will lose your eyesight so fast you'll think you're going blind. One minute you'll be reading everything you can get your hands on, the next you'll be saying to your children, "Run and get my glasses Darl, I can't see a thing." And you can't. Not even the time on your watch. Go buy a new watch with a big face.

You will discover that you have one of those incurable, frustrating, painful, yet non-life-threatening diseases. In your case it will be rheumatoid arthritis. Yes, you'll be on medication for it. Yes, you'll have to have regular blood tests. Yes, you'll need to visit the specialist every year. But hey, there are other things you could have that are much worse.

You will get out of bed one morning and not be able to move without extreme pain. This, my dear, is called a bulging disc. And it takes months to heal. Don't expect full movement back ever, but after two years you'll be almost as good as new.

You will begin to lose the fight in the combat against silver hair. Hair dye will become a large part of your life. I know you always loved your chocolate brown locks and rarely went to the hairdresser. You will have to go regularly, or get used to doing it the messy way...with home colour! But mostly you will have 2 - 5cm of silver regrowth. It's not that embarrassing, don't worry!

That certain age is 40.
Don't ever listen to people who say, "Life begins at 40."
It is simply not true for you!
That might be their reality, but it will not be yours.

You will still have two young children not even in school yet.
Your time is not your own.

I'm just telling you this so that you can face facts.
You're not 20-something anymore and never will be again.
Stop trying to get back to the 'you' of then.
It won't happen.

Get over that fact that you've lost your waist, your 20/20 vision, your brown hair, and your freedom from pain.
And be thankful for what you've got.
Because what you've got is a hell of a lot.
You do eventually find Mr Right.
You do eventually get the children you always dreamed of.
You have a perfect little family, a lovely home, you'll still enjoy teaching even though you quit in your 30s.
Life will be great.

Enjoy your 40s!

Lots of Love,

20-something year old Thea